Reality of Love (Original)

As I sat across from a couple that was kissing, laughing, and enjoying each others presence. I felt the passion in the air surrounding me. I felt a sense of love that didn’t have to be dug up from a deep trench to be found as a treasure. I suddenly caught myself wondering how they may have first met in this love-altering society. Did they meet one another through friends or did they just catch one another’s eye while walking through the mall? It used to be that we didn’t have to search for love; it came naturally among us. The strength of love merges our hearts together, creating one without us even knowing. Through the years the Pop Culture trend of reality television has evolved love into a game. It’s a game that consists of fighting for one’s heart, trying to find your perfect match. This is slowly fading away the colorful thought tradition painted of letting love find us in reality and not allowing reality to fight the chances of true love.

I never thought that one day I would be able to pick up a remote control that could actually help control one’s attempt to find love. When I click on the television the first thing I see is a message floating across the screen while "Flavor of Love" is on a commercial break. "Who is more compatible for Flavor Flav, send a text message to 1221 for Bubbles or 1211 for New York?" Keep in mind that these names made for the game contestants were based upon their interview selection for the show (many of the women were half-naked, by the way). The "Flavor of love" was the first of many television sequels that contained so many women or men competing for the love of one who is pretty wealthy and famous in their eyes."Human matchmaking is involved only in selecting the game contestants-usually for amusement value as opposed to any concern for happiness or compatibility," says a MSN entertainment reporter Katie Johnson. This proves the point that to search for love through reality television eliminates the "real" meaning behind obtaining true love. Love is supposed to be defined as being an attraction that is way deeper than any shallow perception of outside appearance including but not limited to how fat one’s pockets are. It‘s supposed to connect and bond a relationship between two people who have common interests or goals in life."Contestants usually have little or no previous knowledge of each other, ‘Basic criteria’." Johnson states. Basic criteria meaning lots of dollar signs with nice bodies! How can you achieve the goal of capturing the one you love by flaunting your body or improvising words that only sugar-coat the moment but not the long-lasting future bond? My face becomes puzzled when I see Flavor Flav kissing many of the women on Day 1 in the season premiere. This puzzles me because I am trying to make sense of the tradition theory that perceives kissing as an intimate experience that a couple engages while in love. Following this show came "I love New York", "Real Chance of Love"," Rock of Love"," Strange Love", and on and on and on! All of them having the same existing concept that love will be conquered from nudity, violence, and deception. Are we really even searching for the right type of love (since the times have come to searching for it) or just sharing the though of lusting one another?

Through tradition love used to be solely seen as a natural function, something that just happened like winning an award in Kindergarten for student of the year, it unknowingly comes about. Without intention love will sneak up behind you and take your breath away. The thought of love used to bring upon the feeling of a strong positive emotion that made one’s heart jump up and down. Although the tradition of letting love find us is fading by many of the reality television shows broadcasted these days, there are a few that can challenge this Pop Culture Trend of not fighting for the one you "might" end up loving but keeping and cherishing the one you love. Shows such as "Wife Swap", "Trading Spouses", and the old game show the "Newlyweds" actually promote positive insights about love and how to keep it going in the right direction. It also allows the couples that decided to display their marriage nationally to have a chance to work on specific points in their marriage that may have been damaged through their journey of sustaining love. While switching spouses in the show demonstrates one’s need to value the love that has come to fulfill their life .It teaches us to be more comfortable in our own shoes because if we were in one’s another shoes it may not be so fun! Like my Dad always said to me "Be thankful for what you’ve got, not what you have not!" As Lucy Grealy said in her essay Masks certain things can teach us," how to accept the love of another with dignity."(45) These specific reality shows acknowledge that the whole tradition of love reaching us opposing having the need to search for it. Inside of the value of love each couple shares the values that accompany it (family, cultural, and individual). Many of the episodes that I have viewed exemplified the value of spending time with your children while others valued their career over the family. Not
searching for love is not such an insane idea.

The Pop Culture trend of searching for love, fighting for love through reality television has yet destroy our tradition about love but it sure has given us a glimpse of what it may become. In Steven Pinker’s essay Against Nature he states, "Human behavior has nothing to do with biology, it follows arbitrary cultural norms instead," illuminating the fact that although there is a tradition that love will seek us out naturally, people are more likely to follow what is known and popular in the present time. Being as it may reality television is one new way of gaining love.